Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What is it like after the baby comes?

They say a baby changes everything. Oh boy! That is so true! Life will never be the same again once the baby comes.
When I was 16 I got pregnant for the first time. Being young back then, I expected babies would be fun and easy.
My first child was born and I realized babies are so awesome...but demanding. My mother did not even talk to me about what I was going to go through. I knew why she didn't. She wanted me to learn from my mistakes. But it was too late by the time I found out I was not yet ready. I was so overwhelmed. I was upset that my friends continued to enjoy their teenage years while I was faced with the reality that I can't go out at nights because I have a baby to take care of. I couldn't have fun because I had to be a responsible mother. I had a lot of regrets and vowed not let it happen again.
Fast forward 10 years and then I got pregnant again. But this time I knew what was going to happen. This time I may not have my mother and my sister and all my relatives to help me like they did with my first born, but I have my amazing husband who is always there for me. But I was scared because I knew how hard it was especially when you are so far away from your family.
My youngest was born in a way I did not expect it to be (C-section). Recovery was harder than a normal vaginal delivery. But it was an amazing, overwhelming, experience all over again.
I thought that it would be easier because this time I was older and more prepared. But alas, taking care of and raising a baby is hard. You have to be strong physically, emotionally and mentally. You have to have patience like you've never imagined. The newborn days and sick days will deprive you from sleep. You are lucky if you're baby will sleep through the night as early as 2 months. Then comes the day when he starts teething, crawling, and what's next? Walking? Potty-training? Bumps and bruises? The terrible twos?
It is a sacrifice. The way you look at life will change. You will not be able to spend time with your friends like you used to. You will not be able to spend so much time with the activities you love to do. Plus your body changes that you will wonder if it will ever go back to it's pre-pregnant shape again. You have to put aside your own dreams and your own interests. It requires never ending patience and an overflowing of love. It requires to give all of yourself. My advice is to humbly accept all the help you can get.
I don't know how my grandmother and mother and all the other mothers did it. For the record, my grandmother had 13 children. Maybe it requires a lot of children to say it is easy. But I know no matter how many children I would have, it is never easy. It will be sweet and sour. Like those sour patch candies.
But a smile, a look, a touch, a kiss, a word that says "Mama" from your baby will remind you it is worth it all.
Someday my sacrifices will be rewarded.

31 comments:

Menopausal New Mom said...

Thanks for finding me today, I'm following you back. I had my first baby at 45 and I can't imagine doing this as a 16 year old. You deserve a standing ovation :)

Happy Wednesday!

Cassie said...

Thanks for stopping by! I am now a follower of your blog! I have 2 kids and there are 12 years between them. I know what you are going through. I suffered from postpartum with my daughter. (I even left my husband 3 days after we came home from the hospital because I was in need of help!) I never had issues with it with my son. What a help the older child is with the new one. Babies are difficult but oh so worth it! Your story almost mirrors mine. Let me know if you ever just want to talk. :)

Emma's Lunch said...

Thanks for stopping by Emma's Lunch. I'm your newest follower.

Jen@Mommys Online Garage Sale said...

I had my first at 35 and it was tough. I can't imagine being 16, the plus side is that you'll be a "happen'n" young grandmom, lol.

Thank you so much for joining I ♥ Blogging Hop and adding our button! I am your newest follower.

Happy Spring.

Melissa said...

I have 2 and they are 9yrs. and 2 months apart:) Thsnk you for following my blog. Here to follow you back. Coffee and Laughter <3

Marcy said...

Having a baby IS hard. I have several friends that did it at a very young age like yourself, and I saw how hard it was, I waited until I was 33! More power to you for having a second...I'm done!

Thanks for stopping by and following!

:)
Marcy @ Life's Gristle

Shelly said...

Hey there! I am now following you back!! :) Babies are defiantly not easy but the reward SOOO out weighs the bad! :) Good luck! God bless you! :)

Amanda S. said...

Lots of truth in this post! Having kids requires tons of sacrifice, but also makes you a better person in the end! Following back from Mommy's Peanut Gallery :)

aimee said...

Thank you everyone for all you sweet comments and for stopping by my blog. :)

zaizee said...

Hey Aimee, it's Zirrah. :) Your kids are beautiful so all you went through when you had them and for all you are still experiencing, it is very worth it. I can't imagine having kids (God willing) without any help from family or friends, especially not in PI. Hopefully we will have that blessing in our life soon enough. Glad I found your blogspot. :)

The Owl Nest said...

I was married at 17 (by choice!) and my daughter was born exactly nine months later :-) Twenty years later I became an ecstatic grandmother.

I was the oldest of five children and have always taken care of children, so it wasn't that hard for me to adjust to having a child of my own even though I admit I was unprepared for my blessed event. There is never a "great time" to have a child - but a child can fill your life with great times!

~Val

MageeBaby said...

Visiting and following from Thursdays Friends Cafe. :)

Love this post!!! My baby is 8 months old now and my body still has extra junk all over the place! LOL I'm hoping in the next year things will start to look a little more normal... like getting to have a belly button again ahahaha

Wicked Wicker - Customized Gift Baskets said...

New follower from the blog hop :)

Monica said...

Beautiful post.following thru the hop!
A Mother's Touch

Tammy said...

What a great post! I was in my 30's when I had both of my kids and I thought it was exhausting too. Now that they are 8 and 10, life does get easier. Motherhood is tough but it is the most rewarding present that life can give you.

Thanks for joining us today for the bloghop! Love that you joined in and followed. I am your newest follower! :)

Purple Froggie Clay Stuff said...

Congrats on such a beautiful baby! And I too had suffered with postpartum after the birth of my son. Hang in there, things will get better!

I'm following you from Thursday Cafe Blog Hop. Hope you can stop by sometime and return the follow.

Have a good Thursday!
Cindy

Day-Dreamin' Optimist said...

Wow, a mommy at age 16? Looking back, I was so confused about life at that age, if God have thrown a baby into the mix - boy, that would have been catastrophic. Good thing He didn't lol.
This was a good eye-opener for us gals who do not have kids yet, thank you for sharing your experiences - I learned a lot!

katie said...

I don't have children yet, so I can't even imagine how difficult it must be. But I really give mothers a lot of credit. It has to be the most difficult thing in the world to do. I can't imagine doing it at 27, let alone 16. You deserve so much praise. (I think I'm going to be one of those 1 baby and done kind of women...lol. I can see it.)

VintageLovingMom said...

Hi! I'm following back from the blog hop. Love your blog!

Thanks, Crystal

Ourfamiyworld said...

You are amazing : child at 16!! It's not easy to have children. It is very demanding but so rewarding. I have 2 children and some days are better than others. Loved your post!!

Returning the love from www.ourfamilyworld.com
thank you for visiting our blog

Heavenly Savings said...

Nice Blog! I enjoyed looking around and can’t wait to see your future posts! I’m a new follower Happy Thursday!! I would love for you to stop and take a look at my blog as well! Thanks!
http://heavenlysavings.blogspot.com

Ladybird Ln said...

What a great post. I am a mom of three and somedays are hard, but then there are moments when everything makes it worth the while! Like when I watch my three year old kiss his baby sister when she is crying, and tell her it will be alright! I am glad we found eachothers blogs!

Carlee,
ladybirdln.blogspot.com

Tammy @ Type A said...

newest follower from the blog hop. thanks for stopping by type A and becoming a 'friend'.

you are so right on about sour patch kids! great blog, can't wait to read more. nice to meet you!

Morela said...

Hi, I am a new follower and can't wait to read more of your blog.

Morela

http://myview-finder.blogspot.com
http://addsomechaos.blogspot.co

The Dreamer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Dreamer said...

Following from the hop. Would love for you to stop by amomcandream.blogspot.com

thanks!

Lolly Jane said...

wow! hats off you to having a baby at 16-i couldn't have done it. BUT i have 4 under 8 and i'm 29 so i can KIND OF relate, i was a young mom at 21 and had my 4th at age 27. anyway, your son is darling & i saw you have a pug too, how cute! now following you back! thanks for visiting!

Java said...

Hi Aimee!!

Thanks for stopping b the Meet Me On Monday Blog Hop! Its very nice to meet you!!

I just spent the last hour watching your videos! I LOVE them! I especially like the one where you were showing the 3 yellow dresses you bought b/f you know what you were having. I can surely relate! I did the same thing! It thought for sure that after 3 boys I would get a girl....but nope! lol....Mom's of boys are very special!!

So nice to meet you...your little boy is adorable and I love his name!!

Have a great weekend!!

Java

Kim@Chubby Cheeks Thinks said...

I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old so I know what you mean! LOL It is NOT easy!

Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm following you back! :) Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Kim

Chubby Cheeks Thinks

Jeannette said...

It is hard regardless but I've found that being older at least helps me have a little more patience than I did with my first! Following you from the I love Blogging hop - please stop by and check me out at www.myadventureinmommyhood.blogspot.com!

Pearls said...

Hey Aimee,

Thanks for following Sexemamas! I was a younger mommy also and there will probably be at least 10 years between my children. I can't wait to see how you juggle it all! Great post!

Pearls ( http://sexemamas.blogspot.com )

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